I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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