Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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