is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
