I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
