I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just cropdusted the office
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
