I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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