how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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