I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
