It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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