I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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