can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
