I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
