This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
