somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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