It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
