I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
