I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
