is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
