Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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