I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?