Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
