I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize