O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia