you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
