So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
a search helicopter?!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
