i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
