Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
