You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
