My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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