At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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