Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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