Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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