Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
