they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
