I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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