OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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