Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
