Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
