You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize