If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize