did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
