why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
