I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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