My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
