I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
