hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
