we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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