Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
