My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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