Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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