guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize