i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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