how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
