she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
