I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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