Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
