Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im six kinds of drunk right now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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