Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
