Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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