your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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