Sponge bath it is.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
