What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
