Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
