Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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