I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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