my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
