I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
